Marriage, Money, and Gender

Paper Summary:

This paper discusses the different ways in which men and women view money, each other's income, and how it relates to their contribution to the marriage and their own self-worth. It uses several statistics and studies to show how men and women are socialized about money, what their views on it really are, and how these ideas about money and gender roles are changing in modern relationships. The paper offers practical advice on what money issues couples should discuss before getting married.

From the Paper:

"Money is tied to deep-seated emotions, often reaching back into our past. It is a symbol of personal value, power, authority, self-worth, and independence. Most people spend a great deal of their time chasing after it, working for it, and worrying about it. Money has the potential to immensely increase one's quality of life, and yet it is frequently one of the sorest points in relationships, whether it is parent/child, friend/friend, or, in this case, husband and wife. Adding to the frustrations is that men and women often have different ideas on what money means and therefore misunderstand each others money behaviors. This is an increasingly important issue in modern relationships when more and more households are dual-income. Studies show that before the wedding, couples are more likely to openly discuss their feelings about sex than money, but that in the marriage, money is usually the number one argument (Allen, 2003; The Money Side of Marriage, 1985). In most social situations, money is still a taboo topic (Men, Women, and Money, 1999)."

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