How To Win A's and Influence Teachers

Paper Summary:

This paper explains that education is a valuable thing, but not everyone is cut out for the academic world; these people tend to grind more than glide and need a little "greasing of the wheels" to allow their educational years to go more smoothly. The author points out that flattery is needed to win your "A" because everyone loves to hear how wonderful they are, and teachers are no exception. The paper recommends that students allow their imaginations to run freely to expand this guideline beyond flattery, bribery, and general over-the-top behavior to create their own perfect semester and educational experience.

From the Paper:

"Step one to warming up a teacher begins, of course, on the first day of class. Do not make the classic mistake of showing up to class with an apple or any other form of fruit. This is a myth created by vindictive fifth-graders. Teachers do not want fruit. Teachers, as we all know, are grossly underpaid. Teachers want jewelry. Show up on the first day of class with a diamond necklace, a tennis bracelet, or a brooch. If your teacher happens to be male, no matter. A well-timed gift of expensive jewelry will surely get him out of the doghouse with his wife at some point, and he will be sure to remember you on his next anniversary."

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